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Good-natured Jokes on religion & life |
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Satan One bright, beautiful Sunday morning,
everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church.
Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk
about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, at the altar, Satan
appears! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front to get away
from evil incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except
for one man, who sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact
that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.
Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?
" The man says, "Yep, sure do." Satan says, "Well,
aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope. Sure ain't"
Satan, perturbed, says , "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The
man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years." Adam and Eve Adam was walking around the Garden of
Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with
you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was
going to give him a companion and it would be women. He said th is person
will cook for you-and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every
decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up
in the middle of the night, to take care of them. She will not nag you,
and will always be the f irst to admit she was wrong when you've had a
disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you
love and compassion whenever needed. Adam asked, "What would a woman
like this cost me? God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam said,
"What can I get for just a rib?" The Cow and the Pig A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer (all unforgiven) are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn. The Hindu says, "I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn." So, he goes out to the barn. A few minutes later the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu. He says, "There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow." So, the Rabbi says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn." A few minutes later the farmer hears another knock on the door. It's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn. So, the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow... Three Religious Truths There are three religious truths: 1) Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah 2) Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the leader of the Church. 3) Baptists don't recognize each other in a liquor store or at Hooters.
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